In the customer service world we are graded on our calls in three areas. The first is talk time, which is how long the average of all our calls last, we have to keep this around two minutes and 45 seconds. Second is if we gave them the right information and third is how often we sign off the phone. I am a pro at talk time because I can multi-task really well and I try to never put people on hold.
The problem with never putting people on hold is that they are to used to being put on hold by everyone else in the whole world. So when I say, " Just a second while I pull that up!" They think I am no longer on the phone and won't hear anything they say because there is a few seconds of silence. I often hear very informing information on these slip ups, and they are almost always humorous. I have written a lot of these down and I thought I would share a few periodically.
"Just a second while I pull that up."
"Hey...whats that noise? Is that the Ice Cream Man?! Oh my God...I should just hang up right now and call back."
"Well I'm still here if you needa go thats fine, you can just call me back."
"Oh...*click*"
"Just a moment, I'll pull that up for you."
" HURRY UP! You have to act mean to these people or they wont do anything for you."
"I'm still here mam.."
" I am mad...and I am NOT acting now."
"I understand how you feel sir but give me one second to pull this up, thanks."
"He doesn't understand.. He doesn't know me. UUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Okay sir, I am back."
"So you have the claim up now?"
"Leroy, I am just not satisfied with that answer, can you look over it again?"
"Sure, give me just a moment to pull it back up."
"...THAT STUPID MOTHER #$@&*^, I JUST WANT TO RIP HIS FACE OFF AND THROW IT AGAINST A WALL OVER AND OVER AND OVER... UGHHH!!!"
"Yeah I didn't put you on hold yet mam."
*click*
What really kills me is people don't realize what all that phone receiver picks up. I can basically hear anyone talking in the room or what they are watching on T.V. What really kills me is people talking in the background to their spouse telling them what to say.
"I need to know why this particular claim rejected." (Wife)
"Okay let me pull that up for you." (Leroy)
"yeah find out why it's rejecting then freaking pay it. Why do we even have insurance. Ask him that!" (Husband in background)
"Well the claim is rejecting because a routine office visit is only covered once a year and this is the second one." (Leroy)
"Well why do I even have insurance then?" (Wife)
"Well you took it out with your employer, but they set these guidlines for us to follow" (Leroy)
"You ask him what you employer has to do with this!" (Husband in the background)
"Mam, ask your husband if he wants me to just talk to him." (Leroy)
"Oh...you can hear him?"(Wife)
"Yup...everything." (Leroy)
"No its okay I'll tell him to shut up and go in another room." (Wife)
So remember next time you break into song while your on "hold," you may not really be on hold. Until next time,
Leroy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I'm going to have to admit, I'm a dick to most customer service people. Its usually tech support people who are just reading a card telling them what questions to ask. I do work at a helpdesk as tech support, so being the one acting like a dick is more fun sometimes.
I mumbled the word--well, it starts with a C and women really hate this word. So much so, that I've probably only uttered it 4-5 times in my entire life, this from the profanity queen of the Southeast--so anyway, I once muttered it under my breath when this not-so-nice customer service rep lady didn't put me on hold and then she heard me and, well, I pretended I had no idea what she was talking about. I knew I didn't fool her, but it taught me a life lesson, I tell you.
I am sure many CSR's have had a good laugh when I phone in. On hold or not.
Keep up the good work! You're doing a fine job! Oh and I adore the artwork on your first page!
lol!! i can relate to the crazy people talking in the background telling the person what to say on the phone.
My mother makes me do that all the time, cause she refuses to call people she "doesn't know" WTF!!!
Once she didn't talk to me for a whole week cause when the CS rep picked up the call, I explained how my mother refuses to make phone calls and i hope he wouldn't mind helping me through insansity of me repeating everything my mother was saying in the background.
And to this day... she still refused to make a ****ing phone call.
lol!
Pookie
Post a Comment