Conartist Grannies

Yesterday on my way home from work I looked down and my gaslight was on. So I turned into the shell station and pulled my car up to the tank. I hopped out took my gas cap off and started pumping. I finished and went inside and paid. When I came out of the gas station there was this feeble old lady standing next to my car with a big smile on her face.

"Excuse me sonny, can you help me?"
"I'll do what I can..whats the matter mam?"
"I don't know how to pump gas, my husband has always done it for me and hes at home sick. Will you pump my gas for me?"

For a minute or two I just stare at the lady. I mean she is like 80+ years old and she has never pumped gas before? And is it really that hard to figure out? If she had said, "Hey I'm an old fart with Athritis and I can't physically do it." Then that I could understand. But never pumped it before?! Something was amiss here...

"Well I'll do a two for one deal. I'll show you how to pump gas while I do it. That sound okay?"
"That would be great. I'm in that Lincoln Town Car over there."
"The one that is like 20 feet long? (the Land Yacht that noone that can't pump gas should be driving?)"
"Yes that's it."

So I mosey on over and start to show her how it's done. This is where Leroy the Customer Service rep really kicked in.

"This is called the gas cap, you work it much like a Mason jar or a jar of Bama Mayonaise. Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey. Repeat that for me."
"Righty Tighty, Left Loosey."
"Good, next you want to remove the Gas pump. Like so...place the shaft into the hole and squeeze it good and tight. When the tank is full it will pop a little bit. Don't be scared. Then you place it back onto the pump and your done. Well ya gotta remember to put the gas cap back on."
"Righty Tighty..Lefty Loosey. Thank you ever so much sir."
"All in a days work!"

And then she gave me a nickle and got in her Land Yacht and left. It wasn't until I was almost home that I realized I forgot to teach her one of the most important lessons in pumping gas.
Paying for it.

So next time you are out pumping gas beware the Conartist Grannies. Until next time, Leroy.