Death by Phone

Everyone feels like their job is going to kill them atleast once in their life. Like if you work on a backhoe it might blow up one day, if your a massage therapist you might tee off a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu master, or if your a preacher God may fire you. The only harm I may suffer at my job is to my sanity, never have I feared death at work...until now.

Mondays always are the worst days at work for two reasons. First off we get the most calls on Mondays because everyone is pent up over the weekend because we are off. Second it is Monday to everyone else as well, so they are just as pissed off as I am. I usually try to resolve to make it a good day and end up throwing my headset across the room by the second or third call. This was the scariest Monday yet.

I got to my desk, drank a few sips of coffee, logged on the computer, checked to see how many comments I have on my blog (because they let me know you are reading them), and finally sign on the phone. BOOM! First call comes in.
"Hello on this fine morning, my name is Leroy how can I be of service to you?"
"Hi Leroy, my name is Jane Death, D-E-A-T-H and I was calling to talk to you."
I have never prayed so fast in all my life... Oh Jesus, forgive me where I have failed you, I tried to be good most of my life, I pray and read the good book, Why is it time for me to go Lord?
Then I thought, all our calls are random maybe she doesnt want to talk right to me, but she did say "I was calling to talk to you." I'm not ready to die! And why would God be so cruel to make the Angel of Death a woman?! They are so merciless! And why does she also work for Bestbuy, does God not have good health benefits?
I could hear Death calling my name over and over and over...and then I realized she was still on the phone and I hadn't been talking.
"Oh..sorry Mrs. Death, the computer seems to be going really slow, let me check something.... Yep, it seems our computer system has gone down, I'll have to ask you to call back in about 30 minutes to an hour and we should have it back up by then."
"Well...okay. It was really important but I guess I'll call back."
"Thank you Mrs. Death."

Stupid Angel of Death, good thing she didn't come in person. Then she would have known the computers were fine. Leroy => Death.
Until next time, Leroy.