Mother Phonetics

I used to work for a sporting goods stores and I sold firearms. Anytime someone bought a firearm they would have to fill out this complicated form and couldn't have any mistakes on the form. Then I would have the call it in the Feds and they would run an immediate background check and give me an "A-Okay" or "Keep them busy until we get there!." The crazy thing was when you talked to the Feds you had to spell everything out with Phonetics like: A as in Alpha, B as in Bravo, etc.

Well with the job I have now everyone has a contract number with 3 letters and then 9 numbers. And people have the worst time trying to get our Vocie Response system to understand the letters. They will say E-D-U and it'll respond "You said T- P- U?" so by the time they get to me they're pissed off and they phonetically want to spell everything out to you, here are some of my favorites:

P as in Paul, P as in Paul, A as in ASSHOLE COMPUTER SYSTEM!

A as in Apple, B as in Boy, P as in Cox ( That was her last name... but she must have had something dirty on her mind.)

M as in Mother, S as in Suckin, and F as in (Well it rhymes with Suckin and Starts with an F, she was really mad...)

E as in Education, D as in Education, and U as in Education.

X as in Exciting...
then I said "Wait do you mean E?"
No I mean X as in Exciting.
"You know that Exciting starts with an E right?"
Yes I know that but Exciting has the X sound in it...gah.."