Super Leroy

When I was a little Leroy there was a little grocery store we would go to, named Jimmie's. It was basically a small country store where people still bagged in only paper and walked stuff out to the car. I loved going to Jimmie's because we would go once a week and it just happened to fall on the day new comics came out. My first comic ever was Superman, it was right there around the Bizzaro series and the Death of Superman that I really got into it. From this point on I was pretty enthralled with Superman, I had the Undies, I ran around a lot with my blanket tied around my neck and I broke my brother's arm with my superhuman strength! (I pushed him off the top bunk of our bunk beds...)

Well as I have grown and became somewhat of an adult I still try to emulate Superman like qualities in my duty as a Customer Service agent. For example by job is to essentially help people, well Superman would take it one step further he would try to improve or even save peoples lives. This is what I do, when someone calls me I give them the kind of service and attention that could very well save their life. I am a hero to the healthcare community. When you have a Claim problem...Leroy is here. If you need lotion for those STDs, I can tell you your copay and what pharmacy to go to. Do you just need someone to talk to?
DO NOT FREAKING CALL ME! I am Super Leroy, I need to help people that have serious problems and need serious help. I am not here for 70+ year old people to call and tell me how they lost their toe in the war. Yes it is an interesting story, but something I can fix? No...

Anyways back on topic, I was feeling especially super Monday, because usually Monday is the worst day and I thought to myself, "If I am Super Leroy on a Monday noone will be able to be a douschbag to me because I being so super nice." So VERY FIRST call I get here is how it goes:
"Good Morning my name is Leroy (Can't say Super Leroy that would give away my secret identity, duh.) how are you on this glorious day?"
" I'm F&%^ing pissed! I hate that stupid computer system you guys have it don't never understand my alphabets."
"I personally apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced with the automated response system. I will forward a suggestion that they have the alphabets recognition worked on. How can I help you today sir?"
"Well I had insurance with yall since my Ma and Pa had it and now yall go and say I ain't covered no more, rejecting my claims and such."
"Okay Sir, looking at your contract it shows that dependents are only covered up until the age of 19, and then they have to be a full time student in college to stay on the policy, are you in college at this time?"
"Hell naws, I aint even been in school since I could drop out. I work on cars now."
"Well I apologize from the deepest valves of my aorta sir, I wish there was more we could do but unfortunately you can no longer remain on your parentals contract."
"Well... piss fire."
"Does that take care of everything for you today sir?"
"Yeah you did a Suuuper job Leroy...real Super."

My secret identity has been discovered...on my first call of the day. I guess it was to hard to disguise my superness. Until next time Have a Splendiferous day from Leroy! *throws down Smoke bombs, POOF* * Runs away...*