If Mamma ain't Happy, Ain't nobody happy!

My mom beat me as a small child, now granted 98% of it was deserved. I was a horrible child growing up and a thorn in my mothers side until about the 3rd grade. I have a little brother named J.T. and my neighbor Hunter and I tortured my poor brother growing up. We lived in a rural area and we played outside all the time, in the driveways, in the woods, and in the barn. It was simple but fulfilling childhood, but me and Hunter were very michevious and did several things to my brother.

For instance one time we tied a rope to the tire swing and would pull it way up in the air and let go. My brother thought this was awesome and he begged us to try it out. So we let him and we pulled and pulled and pulled until he was almost in the treetops. And then we tied the rope to a tree and left JT in the trees for about 4-5 hours. Another time we took two halves of a 55 gallon plastic drum smashed them together and rolled him down a very large hill, when he finally pushed himself out he threw up, he has a very weak stomach. We also held him down and stringed spit towards his face and slurped it up right before it touched his face, this also induced vomitting. And my personal favorite was when we used one of Dad's suit jacket coat hangers ran it through his shirt and hung him in the closet and locked it. My Mom however did not like us "abusing her baby," and this is usually where I was beaten by my Mom.

Regular Moms are quick to anger but an actual pregnant woman is a ticking time bomb waiting to rip someones head off and devour the inards. Delilah sits next to me at work and she is currently 8 months pregnant and showing. She has to be one of the sweetest people I have ever known. She is really timid and shy and very softspoken, I never hear her talking to someone even thoug shes 5 feet away. Well...someone screwed up bigtime when they pissed off Delilah.

I was sitting there reading my book and waiting for my next call to come in when I hear next to me:
"Oh NO you didn't.. Sir Do you realize you are talking to a pregnant woman? You are gonna call in here and talk this way to me when I am 8 months pregnant? I have already had a hard enough day and I know you are not gonna call and cuss me out before I even offer to help you, that is RUDE!"

My jaw was on my desk and just about every cubicle in my department had the top half of someones head peeking over it wondering when the manager was going to walk over and fire Delilah.

"Well...I am sick of this too, sir! ...Can you talk to my supervisor? I think I need to talk to your supervisor, are you at work? SIR! SIR! SIR! If you say another curse word where my baby can hear it I will hang this phone up right now! (long pause)... Now are you gonna behave? Okay...I accept your apology, that is much better. Now how can I help you today?"

I could not believe what had just happened, I felt like I had witnessed the world coming to an end for Delilah; but what was even more amazing was Delilah let the man talk to our manager after she was finished and he complemented Delilah for helping him out and setting him straight. The next time someone calls and is being rude to me I'm gonna ask to speak to their Mom...until next time,
Leroy