C3-Leroy, Human Cyborg Relations

In 1876, at the age of 29, Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. At this same time the war began, an underground war, a war between Customer Service Reps and their customers. The battles have raged on and on with wins and losses on each side, and it seems like the casualties in this war will forever be piled high and continue to grow. These battles are fought with words , canny thinking, and recordings for quality assurance. In our office we have tried to reduce the human casualties by placing anamatronic voice response units (VRUs) on the front line and to let us pick off the straglers as they get past. Sometimes the battle with the VRUs can be devestating to a customer and they will still believe they are fighting them even when they are connected to the Customer Service Rep, Special Forces.

Mrs. Johnson calls in...
"Good Morning this is Leroy, May I have your contract number please?"
In response the person punches in their contract number on the phone, I wait patiently for them to finish.
"Hello, I am not a computer, May I please have your contract number please?"
Once again...punched the numbers in...
"Hello!?"
"Oh, Hi..."
"How are you today?"
" I'm good, thanks."
"May I have your contract number please?"
Beep...Beep...Beep....Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep....Beep... Please tell me this is not for real, I was seriously 9 beeps away from slamming my head on the desk and ending it all. Then I thought...maybe this is some new tactic by the customers to have the Reps self destruct. Surely not..
"Mam, I am not a computer, I am a living breathing human being that does not have the compatability to understand the numbers you are punching in, Please give me your contract number or social security number verbally."
"Beep Boop Beep Beep Boop Boop Beep Beep Boop Boop Boop." Now I know it may seem like she punched in the numbers again, but no....she made the noises with her mouth.
Score, 1 Customer, 0 Leroy.

Until next time,
Leroy, First Seargent of Special Forces CSR 3rd Division, Awarded the Purple Headset for Valor in the Line of Duty.