Moment of Silence

I have discovered there are two types of the "Moment of Silence." The first one is a moment of silent reverence for maybe a dead relative, a special day, or a great bowel movement. The second one is more like a guffaw. Where something so hideous or unexpected happens that everything goes silent, jaws drop, and people stare. This is my favorite moment of silence.
Anyone and everyone has experienced a guffaw. The ones I remember are embedded in my memory and unfortunately cannot be erased. For a time I worked in retail at a sporting goods store. It was two levels and we had an escalator in the middle of the store taking people to the top. Some idiot decided we should put buggies next to the escalator where people could get one without having to go all the way to the front of the store. Well one day a little old lady was trying to get a buggy out of the stack and somehow sat on the escalator belt (the one that acts as a moving handrail) and is suddenly on the ride of her life. She only got up about 5 foot up before she panicked and dropped butt first into a buggy. That part alone would have earned a good guffaw in my book but the fact that she was wearing a dress and was baring all her glory left the whole store with jaw dropped and staring as if they were witnessing a train wreck.
There isn't a whole lot that leaves me in a state of guffaw anymore at work. I've heard it all from sex changes, drowning genetetalia, to 60 year old Boob jobs and prosthetic wangs. But Dick caught me off guard on a slow day. The call started off okay then just got weird:
"Good morning! My name is Leroy, may I have your name please?"
"Good morning this is Dick, I was calling to check on my benefits for a certain procedure."
"Okay Dicks what's your date of birth so I can verify its you?"
At this point I had pulled up his information and noticed something very strange Dick was a man, and he had a male spouse on his contract named Rod. I had already had a little blip on the gaydar from the name Dick and the slight lisp and feminine voice. But my Gaydar broke when I saw this.
"Sure here's my Date of birth...(gives DoB..)"
"Alright Sir, (I cant call him Dick anymore at this point...) what was that procedure you wanted to check on?"
" I need to see if a routine colonoscopy is covered."
Here is where the guffaw came into play. First thing that came into my mind is how the hell did I get this call. The second thing that came into my mind is how perfect of a gay couples name is Dick and Rod? The third and final thing that came to my mind is, do I have enough hand sanatizer? So after about 2-3 minutes of silence I was finally able to finish the call and move on to the throwing up.

Until next time, Leroy!