Leroy the Hymenator

Anything goes in the world of Health Insurance customer service. A while back I received a call from a newly married young girl name Angela. Angela was at first wary in talking to a guy about her particular problem but I advised her that I get all types of calls a day and I'm sure that I've heard worse. Little did I know how wrong I was. Here is basically how the call went:
"Good morning my name is Leroy may I have your name please?"
"Yes my name is Angela and I have a question on if something is covered under my health insurance."
"Oh Sure I'd be happy to help you today Angela, what is the procedure?"
"Well...I wish I had gotten a female representative this is kind of personal..."
So I thought it had something to do with her boobs or a pap smear or something.
"Well its okay Angela I promise you that I have heard much worse and I'd be happy to check on the procedure."
"Well....Okay I need to see if a Surgical Procedure to remove the Hymen is covered."
" Alright no problem I'll check right into that, do you mind holding?"
"No thats fine."
So I put her on hold and thought to myself, what the hell is a Hymen. So I pull out my trusty Medical Dictionary and proceed to look it up. Well I am not one to read deeply into things so I looked at the first line and here's what it said:
"hymen:
1. A fabulous deity; according to some, the son of Apollo and Urania, according to others, of Bacchus and Venus. He was the god of marriage, and presided over nuptial solemnities. "Till Hymen brought his love-delighted hour, There dwelt no joy in Eden's rosy bower."
This leaves me in quite a state of confusion because for some reason I am thinking she has the Son of Apollo and Urania inside her somewhere and we really need to get them the freak out! So I decide that I will go back on the line with her and get some more information.
"Thanks for holding for me Angela, I'm sorry but I may need a little more explanation on what the procedure entails and the reasons you need to have it."
"Well I just got married and when me and my husband are together it causes quite a lot of discomfort because its unusually thick and he can't break it."
"Okay that makes sense it will be just a moment longer, I'm going to put you on hold again."
So I put her on hold and now I am more confused than ever. So at this point I am thinking a Hymen is some type of boil or something on her and her husband cant pop it or whatever. So I decide that I should go and talk to my supervisor and ask her maybe she has dealt with this situation before. So I walk over to HER and ask HER in my normally loud voice, "Lisa what is a Hymen?" Well her eyes got quite large and her face turned really red as she started talking about a woman losing her flower when she got married. And in my head I'm like yeah, what bride doesn't throw her bouquet? She sees that I'm not understanding very well and she told me to go rad more of the definition in my medical dictionary. So I go back to my desk and pull it out and read what was under the rest:
"Hymen:
<anatomy> A fold of muscous membrane often found at the orifice of the vagina; the vaginal membrane. "
This definition alone left me flabbergasted and totally embarrassed to even be living. This is where I had to make an adult decision. See I am not usually good with Adult Decisions. There were two ways this conversation could go and I had to think which one would be the correct choice.

1.) I could come back on the line and say, " Well congratulations on your recent marriage Angela, this procedure would be covered under your outpatient benefits with a 50$ copay. Have a good day!"

2.) Or what my heart really told me to say. "Well thanks for holding Angela, I have great news. This procedure wont cost you a thing. All you have to do is give me your Address and Phone Number and Leroy the Hymenator will be right over to take care of that for you."

For my jobs sake I sadly chose option number one, and regret everyday the death of Leroy the Hymenator.
Well the calls keep coming and the fun never stops, until next time! -Leroy the Customer Service Rep.