Help me Baby Jesus!

Everyday I pray for Jesus to come back. I pray for him take me away from this Hell on earth and leave all my customers behind. Atleast there isn't any health insurance in heaven, since everyone is already dead it kind of defeats the purpose. But unfortunately Jesus has not come back yet and I am still sitting here with this headset on my head talking to a Wal-Mart employee about why we wont pay more than 60 dollars to have her boobs scanned.
Maybe healthcare is so expensive because beautiful people must not have to go to the doctor as much, maybe our fees are higher because of that fat hairy guy who needed a prostate exam. Maybe the cost of healthcare is rising because of senior citizen pap smears. This very well may be the case but the finger is usually pointed directly at me. When someone calls and asks why they have to pay a 200 dollar deductible for a colonoscopy, should I say, " Well Miss Tutleburg, it could be the fact that they are using two gurneys for your procedure since you can't fit on the one. " Nope, Probably shouldn't say that, I wouldn't be able to write about Customer Service experiences if I ever said that now would I?
See that's the problem with customer service, subscribers can call and say any and everything to us but we must maintain courtesy and empathy. And we are not allowed to hang up on people either, unless they are slandering us specifically. For example anyone over the age of 22 hate the automated voice systems and want to talk to a "real person." So when they finally do reach one of us real persons we are berated on how bad the voice response system sucks. This provides for much comedy on our end. especially when they are cursing out the VRU (Voice Response System) and are transferred to us and we pick up the conversation. Just the other day Mr. Johnson called us and was yelling at the VRU as he was transferred to me, this is how the conversation went:
"CAN I *&%$ing TALK TO A REAL PERSON!!!!"
"Oh, good morning my name is Leroy I am a real person, may I have your name please?"
"Yes my name is Mr. Johnson, did you hear any of my previous statement Mr. Roy?"
"Actually yes sir I did hear the entire statement and I apologize for the trouble you had with our VRU."

Here is how I wish it went:
"CAN I *&%$ing TALK TO A REAL PERSON!!!!"
"Oh good morning, my name is C3LeeRoy, human Cyborg Relations, I am sorry but our company does not employ "real people" this insurance company is totally run by genetically and technologically enhanced humans. Unfortunately there is not a "real person" available to take your call. But I am equipped with Artificial Intelligence and would be happy to assist you at this time. May I have your name please?"

Well the calls keep coming and the fun never stops so until next time this is Leroy your friendly Health insurance Customer Service Rep.