Baby Fat

I'm a little "husky" myself but it amazed me how people want a quick fix for their "fat" problems. There are all type of procedures out there to lose weight quick, suck out the fat, and turn your stomach into a tube straight out your rectum. What happened to just good old excercise and diet? What happened to not eating every meal at Mc'Donalds and never stepping outside, except to sprint in to every place you go. Which brings me to a conversation I had this morning:

"Good Morning, this is Leroy, how can I help you today?"
" I was calling because my doctor told me I need to join an excercise program to help lose some weight."
" I am sorry miss, but exercise programs are not eligible under your Health Insurance."
" But my Doctor recommended it due to medical reasons."
" What is the medical reason, mam?"
"I have baby fat."
" I am sorry but Baby Fat is not a medical diagnosis and your youngest child is 17, I am sorry but this is just not a service covered on your insurance."
" But the doctor said I need to try Pilates to lose some weight."
" I am sorry mam but if Jesus him self came down from heaven with a flaming sword on a chariot of water and feathers and told me right now that he recommended you have pilates it would still not be covered."
" I don't believe in Jesus anyway..."
"Have a good day mam."

Maybe I still have baby fat from when I was born. Maybe I'll have the surgery where my stomach is bypassed to shoot food straight out my rectum. Ta Ta for now,

Leroy

From the Files of Leroy...

So there has been quite a length of time since I posted on the website here and you are probably wondering why. Well, it has been a rough time for me since the last post. I had a death in my family that hit me really hard, I had a birth in the family that is freaking awesome, and I made love to some family which was really akward. (Just kidding...)

We have a prgram at the company I work for where you take money out of your check, pre-tax, to fund a little debit card for medical expenses. The key word here is Medical Expenses. You would not believe the kind of crap people try to use their cards for and think it is okay. For example...

" Hello this is Leroy, How can I help you today?"
" Why ain't my card workin Leroy? It worked yesterday at the pharmacy and now it ain't working."
"Well looking at your account I don't see anything that would hold it up, let me pull up your transaction history and I'll try and see why it is rejecting."

So I look it up and quickly see that this man is retarded.

"Sir, where are you trying to use the card at?"
"I'm using it at the hospital! Ain't no reason this shouldn't work! It's MY MONEY!"
"Well sir, do me a favor and look around you and ask yourself if where you are at really looks like a hospital."
"Don't look like a hospital but it is across the street from it."
"It very well may be true that the Shell Station the card is being used at is close to the hospital but unfortunately sir you cannot use the card to purchase gas at the pump."
"SCREW YOU THEN!"

Also had a lady try to use the card at a Chik-fil-A in the hospital before. She couldn't understand why it wouldn't work there. I asked her if she thought it should work at a Chik-fil-A in the mall? She said, "No, it's in the Mall! You can't use a medical savings card at the mall, I've tried!!"

Fish in a Barrel... Until next time, Leroy!

Friday is for Retards

I don't know what it is about Friday, but we always receive the highest volume of retarded people calling in on this day. It never fails I will have these following questions atleast 10-20 times on a Friday, where as on Monday- Thursday I will get these questions 1-5 times.

Retarded Question #1: I see there is a fax number on this form, can I fax it to this number?

No, we put the fax number on the form so you can send us questions, then we'll fax the answer back to you...

Retarded Question #2: When I fax this form in with my receipts, do I need to fax the original receipts?

Yes sir, because we get that actual crumpled yellow peice of paper with the chewing tobacco stains come through the fax machine. It makes me want to ask this question, When you put something in the fax machine it does come back out right?

Retarded Question #3: Im trying to fax this form in to you guys but the line is busy, what should I do?

Keep trying...

Usually I try and be understanding and caring, because I know that people can't know everything about their Medical Savings Account. But the above questions are pretty straight forward and should be able to be answered even before they are spoken. What really gets me is some of these people will call us and hold for 10 minutes before they get one of us and still have this question in their mind.

I know its been a while and there were some rumors I was dead but I am trying to make a comeback, until next time... LEEEEROOOOYYYYY!!!